In the latest issue (Vol. III, Issue 3) of her Guide Your Child Newsletter, Mrs. Lockitch, M. Ed., says:
The phrase “Good job!” (and all its variants) has become almost a knee-jerk reaction to anything our children do these days.
The problem is that tossing out a vague “good job” here and there does nothing to teach your child how to judge her behavior for herself.
To remedy the bland generalities that come too easily to most of us, our role can be instead to describe what we see. We can express to our children what we value about their efforts, work, or achievements. The more detailed we can be, the more our children will sense that we’ve really looked, really heard, or really noticed what they’ve done. We can express a heartfelt “thank you.” We can also say how we feel as a result of their endeavors.
If your daughter remembers to take her shoes off and put them away when you come home, you could remark, “I see that you put your shoes where they belong. You even lined them up side-by-side. This area is so tidy now. Thank you!”
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Mrs. Lockitch says about herself:
Parenting educator Cornelia Lockitch, M.Ed., helps parents to delight in their child’s early years by giving them a practical framework for understanding, talking to, and guiding their young child. She holds diplomas in Montessori education for the primary and elementary age groups from the Association Montessori Internationale (AMI), as well as a Master’s degree in Education from Loyola College in Maryland.
Cornelia has ten years of teaching experience in Montessori and private education, and has taught children from preschool to junior high. Being a mother herself, she has both a professional and personal appreciation for the challenges and the joys of interacting with children on a daily basis. She lives in Orange County, California, with her family and a pair of very affectionate mackerel tabby cats.
Cornelia is available for parenting education via one-on-one phone coaching and engaging lectures to your child’s school, local moms’ group, or community event. Email her at Info@GuideYourChild.com.
Her Website is GuideYourChild.com.