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Measurement Humor

Posted by Michael Gold - January 13, 2010 - Humor, Mathematics, Science

I received this in an email from a parent of a student I have tutored:

New IEEE standard values:

Non-Conventional Units of Conversion

Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won Ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 Microscope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 Bananosecond

Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 Billigram

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

Half of a large intestine = 1 Semicolon

1,000,000 aches = 1 Megahurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 Hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes = A Straight Line

453.6 graham crackers = 1 Pound Cake

1 million- microphones = 1 Megaphone

2 million bicycles = 2 Megacycles

365.25 days = 1 Unicycle

2000 mockingbirds = 2 Kilomockingbirds

52 cards = 1 Decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton

1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 Literhosen

1 millionth of a fish = 1 Microfiche

1 trillion pins = 1 Terrapin

10 rations = 1 Decoration

100 rations = 1 C-ration

2 monograms = 1 Diagram

4 nickels = 2 Paradigms

2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University

Hospital = 1 IV League

and… 100 Politicians = Not 1 decision

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Brooke Z, high school student,

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Kevin B, high school student,

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Melissa S, parent of high school student,

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I hope she finishes up the year strong."
Mr. M, high school teacher of Madison S; quote from emailed note from teacher to parent,

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